There is no doubt about it, relationships can be very difficult. It’s difficult to go on many bad dates where you know in just a few minutes that you’re not compatible. It is very difficult to merge your life with someone else’s after you’ve been single for so long. And even when you’re in a successful relationship, you still have to put in a lot of time and dedication. Relationships are wonderful but require a lot of efforts, and for some men, it’s just too much.
Sure, they want to settle down with a wonderful woman, and perhaps they do want to find love but aren’t quite committed. However, for the most part, commitment scares many men away. As the top matchmakers in New Jersey, we know there are many men in the dating scene who are afraid of commitment, no matter how much they care for a woman.
If you are seeing a great man who doesn’t want to commit, then you need to walk away. But how do you know he is afraid of commitment? Today, New Jersey Singles reviews the signs of a commitment-phobe to help you decide your current situation.
1. He’s never had a long-term relationship.
If you find out the man you’re dating hasn’t had a long-term relationship, that’s fine if he’s young. But if he’s older and has never been in a meaningful relationship, that’s a sign he’s afraid of commitment. If his longest relationship lasted a month or two, that’s a sign you have a serious commitment-phobe on your hands.
Sure, as professional matchmakers, we know that relationships don’t always last. But if he is older and has never had any kind of serious relationship, then that should throw up red flags and make you wonder why. If he’s had an endless string of short-term relationships and flings, then that’s a cause for concern. Try to dig deep and find out why he’s never had anything serious in the relationship department.
2. He likes the chase but not settling down.
For whatever reason, some men only like the chase and walk away once the relationship gets serious. As matchmakers, we know that men are programmed for the thrill of the chase. They love picking up attractive women at bars, going out with them, charming them, getting their digits, etc.—they love the early stages of a relationship when everything is exciting and fresh. However, at some point, the relationship gets comfortable, which is when many men walk away.
Sure, the excitement can be brought back, but for many men it’s just not the same. For some reason, they’re afraid of settling down with just one woman. Commitment-phobes are afraid of settling in a relationship and walk away once the chase disappears.
3. He doesn’t like to be tied down.
If you really want to know if the man you’re seeing is afraid of commitment, take a closer look at his life. Is he afraid to be tied down? Does he continue to rent, not because he can’t afford to buy a house but because he wants to pick up at a moment’s notice? Does he avoid buying a car because he likes to switch it up every year or so? Commitment and settling down comes with a lot of benefits, but for some men that’s just not enough.
4. He changes when things start to get serious.
Men who are afraid of commitment start out charming and affectionate but change their behavior when the relationship gets more serious. These are the type of men who will show up with a bouquet of flowers to charm you but quickly change once they have you.
Men who are afraid of commitment get spooked the second things start heading towards a serious relationship. If you notice his attitude did a 180 for no apparent reason, then that could be the culprit. Perhaps he likes the chase but wants nothing to do with getting serious.
5. He doesn’t want to get to know you better.
This might seem too simple, but it’s true. If he really cares about you, then he will want to get to know you better. If the man you’re seeing doesn’t care to know your interests, fears, goals, or passions, then he doesn’t want to get to know you. During the early stages of your relationship he should’ve asked you plenty of questions to get to know you and talk about everything. If he doesn’t know anything about you or doesn’t care to know, then he is terrified of commitment.
6. He sends mixed signals.
We said it many times before. Men who are afraid of committing will send out mixed signals. He knows exactly what to do to keep you interested and happy, but that’s it—that’s all he does. When it comes to doing relationship-type things, he’s nowhere to be found. You might notice that things go great for a while but all the sudden stop. No, you didn’t do anything wrong—he just noticed things are getting serious and is pulling back. He wants to keep you on the hook because he enjoys the benefits, but he doesn’t want to get too close because he knows that means a relationship.
7. He doesn’t want to put a label on things.
No one is saying that you need to define your relationship after a few dates, because that would be a little crazy. However, if the two of you have been seeing each other for some time now, then you need to figure out where you stand. A man who is afraid of commitment will be afraid to bring up the subject, and if you bring it up, he’ll switch it to something else. Commitment-phobes are afraid to put a label on things and will hold on as long as they can. If you have mentioned it to him many times and he doesn’t seem to want to put a label on the relationship, it’s time to cut him loose because he’s not going to commit to you.
There is nothing worse than falling for a man who seems interested but just won’t commit. If you notice a few of these signs in the man you’re seeing, then it’s clear he is a commitment-phobe. You don’t deserve to be strung along by a guy who has no intentions of settling down.
Are you ready to meet quality men in New Jersey who aren’t afraid of commitment? Contact our New Jersey Singles matchmakers today and let us introduce you to relationship-minded men who are compatible with you.