When you start a fresh relationship, it can be very fun and exciting to be with someone new. The best part of being with someone new is that you get to start fresh.
Relationships in their early days feel so great because there is so much potential for what can be developed.
The one thing that can throw your whole relationship off, however, is the possibility that your partner carried baggage from his past relationship into the new one.
It’s so important for all of us to get over the things that happened to us in the past, and it’s important we do this before we even try to start a new relationship. Otherwise, it’s not fair to our new partner who is hoping to move forward with a clean slate.
Regardless of how serious their previous relationship was, people are often unable to fully disconnect without sufficient time, and that can spell trouble for the new relationship.
Things can start to get rocky in your new relationship if your man is holding on to the past.
Today, New Jersey Singles reviews the telltale signs your new boyfriend has baggage.
1. He takes his insecurities out on you.
Someone who is holding on to emotional baggage from a previous relationship can often be plagued with a lot of self-doubt. Maybe his ex betrayed him and he’s worried that you will do the same.
If he’s defensive for no reason or seems anxious for no reason, that could be a sign that he’s insecure in the relationship.
You should definitely talk to him about this and figure out why he’s behaving this way. He should feel just as safe as you do in the relationship.
2. He is hot and cold.
Do you feel like things are on fire one minute but then you get the artic freeze the next? If the relationship is starting to make your head spin, it could be a sign that your boyfriend has baggage.
Your partner’s last relationship could be holding him back and that’s why you might see inconsistency in him. This tends to happen a lot, and it could be happening to him because he didn’t really heal from the past relationship and did not cultivate enough self-love.
3. He freaks out at similarities to his ex
No one should ever be compared to an ex. It’s a pretty bad sign if your current boyfriend is comparing you to his ex on a regular basis. If he’s doing that, it’s usually because he’s still stuck in the past and hasn’t moved on yet.
If your boyfriend had a bad experience with his ex, then certain things that you do might trigger his hurt. If that happens, then you should sit him down and be honest with him. Ask him straight up if he still has some unresolved issues or feelings for her. You might even want to talk to a professional about this one. A relationship counselor will help him unhook himself from the past.
It’s not easy being in a relationship with someone who is still dealing with their past. If you’re in this situation, you need to talk to your partner to get to the bottom of it.
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